What to do when your dreams don’t (and do) come true?

welcome back, ever-evolving souls—it's ADVICE DOM time. to the dungeon we go! today's listener SUBMISSION is a two-fer. TWO Qs, ONE CUP full of As. 

one question about what to do when you’re trying and not getting what you want + another about what to do when you’re getting everything.believe it or not, there’s a common answer to both.

ADVICE DOM's got questions and answers!

c'mon down to the cave for some spanky, slappy, advice-giving. BECAUSE SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST LIKE TO BE TOLD WHAT TO DO.™️

call in and SUBMIT (your own question) --> 760-820-9070

~show notes~

• enter to win a free coaching session ~ when you leave a 5-star rating (only) and a written review, you'll be entered into a monthly drawing for a free 90-min coaching session with dana (value of $388). DM (@danablix instagram) or email a screenshot of your submission—take it right before you hit submit—along with the review name/title. winner announcements will be made across platforms!

/// sound-editing/design ~ rose blakelock, theme song ~ kat ottosen, podcast art ~ natalee miller///

Transcript

Finding Calm in Chaos

Speaker 1 0:00

Come on into the cave . The humidity it's fantastic . Watch your step . The entrance to the cave can get a little slippery Occupational hazard . What can I say ? It's time for a little advice , dom , because sometimes people just like to be told what to do .

Speaker 1 0:27

We live in a bewildering time . All of us are destined to be bewildered , and I don't think that's a bad thing . In fact , I got two questions on the same day . Both of them showed up One sentence each less than an hour apart , and it's clear that both askers are completely bewildered for seemingly different reasons . But are they really Crying in my jacuzzi ?

Speaker 1 1:01

Oh , oh oh , crying in my jacuzzi ? Crying in my jacuzzi , crying in my jacuzzi ? The first question what do you do when the thing you most want keeps not showing up ? That was it , that was the question . Not showing up , that was it , that was the question . And an hour later I got . What do you do once you've started getting what you want ? Now , I couldn't ignore the coincidence of the timing of these two questions and the coincidence of the theme getting what you want and I want to say coincidence , synchronicity , the language of the divine . So hold on to that toy . We're going to flip that on and let it buzz around in a moment .

Speaker 1 2:19

Both of these questions feel serious in nature . Serious in that they are about getting , wanting , yearning , longing and getting it , getting the thing , the object of desire . Now there's a whole school of thought some refer to this as universal law that there is no such thing as not getting . We are always all only getting what we are ready for . And if we haven't gotten it , we are one interpretation , not ready for it , are one interpretation , not ready for it , which in our culture , has a derogatory , negative connotation , because we should all be ready all the time and in a constant state of achieving and receiving and getting . And on the other side , where I like to hang out , where the cave is located , is that we're getting ready to get ready . So , on one hand , here we have a question about someone who's getting ready to get ready and what do you do ? And a question from someone who has gotten ready is ready , the things are happening , what do you do ? You calm down ? Did you see that coming ? I feel like maybe you did not . You calm down , did you see that coming ? I feel like maybe you did not . You calm the fuck down , because when you are buzzing and anxious , moving fast all the things . Am I missing things ? Am I getting things ? Am I doing it right ? No-transcript .

Speaker 1 4:10

It is very hard to interpret , interpret your emotions , sensations moving up through your body , emotions full of information for you . It's easy to be in old patterns of thought . Versus the very small percentage , the 10% we get each day , of new thought , new potential thinking , it's hard to pick up what the universe is actually saying to you . It is difficult , I'm not going to say impossible , but I of creativity , of vision , of presence , let's just say presence , to be present where all the things can happen , synchronicities , the language of the divine , when the nervous system is activated , when you're moving rapidly , consistently , when our nervous system is activated and we are moving from that connected place , that ventral vagal place right , this is a little polyvagal theory , quite a helpful framework , I find Into the activated , sympathetic nervous system Fight , flight , freeze , appease , fawn . What I'm getting at is that it is complicated to make present , conscious , empowered , next steps to receive the information that is likely all around you , to be able to interpret that , to feel it , to resonate , to be in resonance . So thus my advice calm down . So thus my advice calm down Now in the history of the universe , has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down ? My sources tell me not .

Speaker 1 6:28

One thing I'd like to offer is that the framework of getting and not getting Maybe not so helpful . I might put that aside . Best you can Give it a whirl . It can bring up deep experiences of separation , not belonging , not fitting in , scarcity , lack In the framework of getting , not getting . Sometimes we are trying so hard to get something this is really what I'm trying to get out here . We are trying so hard to get something that we try to cause miracles versus experiencing them . Miracles can be tiny , little , bite-sized , when your energy and attention is focused externally on the getting , or when it is internally on the . Why am I not getting ? Or what do I do because I have all of these things ? Now that I'm getting , and am I making the right decisions ? How do I keep it going ? I've been so used to trying to make it happen that I'm not even quite sure how to experience it , to enjoy it , to say yes , more please .

Speaker 1 7:49

Calm and calm cannot be brought up about with the same effort of getting and not getting . Am I getting the calm ? Am I not getting the calm ? Have I gotten the calm and oh , here I am clinging to the calm . Try playing with it . Can you take a few breaths ? Maybe when you're washing your hands somewhere and the water is warm , and you take a few breaths , you feel your feet on the ground . Maybe you're in an elevator and you just lean against the side wall and you notice the texture and you take a few breaths , closing your eyes perhaps , feeling your body move through space . Breathe , putting your feet on the earth , fondling a plant .

Speaker 1 8:51

A fave , get creative . I mean it . Get creative . I mean it Get creative . Play with calm , play with calm . Play with your calmness , with your . Get curious with what it is to find calm Moments of it . Let it come up in unexpected places . Masturbate a fair amount if that gets you there .

Speaker 1 9:25

Go , be playful with chilling out , finding moments of calm . In whatever experience you're having . It can be the one where you're telling yourself you are not really getting , or it can be the version of getting all the things . I know they seem completely different . I know they seem completely different , but they will come closer together as you slow down , as you stop pushing so hard , trying to control or manage the scenario . Just let go of the oars for a bit , relax , trust that you'll find your way . That's it Now . Get out of here , you dirty dirty little crybaby . Feel the warmth of the sun as you exit the cave and re-enter the here and now of your day , and feel free to send over your submission down in the dungeon answering machine . Just call 760-820-9070 . That's 760-820-9070

Podcast Ratings and Thank You

Speaker 1 11:12

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Speaker 1 11:12

We receive all submissions Crying in my jacuzzi . If you enjoyed what we did here today , go over to wherever it is that you are listening to this podcast and give us a rating . As many stars Five as your heart desires . As many stars Five as your heart desires . Five stars though . Theme music and other musical bits by the very talented Kat Otteson . Sound design and editing by the effervescent Rose Blakelock . Thank you , thank you . Thank you so much for being here . I look forward to playing with you more in my jacuzzi . That sounded dirtier than I meant it , but you know what I mean .